In search of Green

American Dreams are strongest in the hearts of those who have seen America only in their dreams     -- Pico Iyer

So here i am, trying to work towards my AMERICAN DREAM (anything less than full caps would not do justice to it) and four quarters into it, reality has started to sink in. 

The day when i had my visa interview in Mumbai was also the day when i was overwhelmed like i have never been. Patiently waiting in a Que that appeared to be never ending, i observed two types of people walking out of the office, after their interview - First were the ones whose visas got approved and walked out like they already were millionaires in their heads. Second of the lot appeared to be like the poor farmers from the drought-struck rurals, in search of a rope that could bear the weight of their body from the ceiling-fan back home; so i assumed they are the ones who did not get a visa. It made me wonder if the feeling of getting a visa or being rejected really is so overwhelming, until i got mine approved and i just ran out with energy level of The Ultimate Warrior. I felt like i was hallucinating walking out of the visa office, i could see all my haters standing out and in my head i was like "Oye Maa Bhan Bhan Maa".

There are two ways to experience this beautiful country - One as a mesmerized tourist, where you explore the best of what it has to offer and the second by becoming a part of the system as you move here for good. I've had my experience as a tourist during my last visit a couple years back and i have to say it was just as perfect as we all see it on the idiot box. From the calm and peaceful Outer Banks in North Carolina to the magical streets of the Big Apple, this country showcases a great fusion of serenity and flamboyance to the dreamers. But for this one i am gonna be focusing on the latter kind of experience.


Here's an insight for appetizers - Average household income of general population in USA is around $50,000 per year where as that of Indians in USA is $90,000 to $100,000, which makes us the richest ethnic group in the land of opportunities*yeehaw*. The struggle for a Tata Nano in our country transforms into a confusion to choose between BMW and Mercedes Benz here, pride of owning a 1 bedroom apartment in Bandra is replaced by the boredom of sitting in a 7 bedroom single family home (bungalow in my language). Before moving here, i use to wonder as to what is it that drives Indian's towards success in USA, and when i did, i realized it was pretty simple - Technology. Just the way back in India we are connected by multiple languages like Hindi, Urdu, Gujarati, Marathi, etc, here the languages that matter are Java, Big Data, SQL, ETL, etc. I do not remember how many times have i been asked one question by almost every Indian professional that i have met so far in this country - "Which Technology?". The pressure of being able to fit among the rest that represent your ethnicity is so high that extending your introduction becomes inevitable, when you meet another Indian. "Hello, i am Venkateshwaram Chinnaswamy Vedguru, Database Analyst/ETL Developer/Sharepoint Administrator from Hyderabad". Now , notice how his skill sets matched the number of words in his complete name and the mention of his hometown is almost overshadowed by the "impressive" array of technologies that he is familiar with, and the best part about the introduction would most likely be a request of being called 'Venky' or 'VC instead of his real name.

The self-proclaimed doctor Munnabhai,  in his movie exclaimed that in India only doctors are respected and not anyone else, similarly here in Uncle Sam's country only IT professionals are respected and as for the rest, they aren't even counted. Life-cycle of an IT professional in USA is very easy to explain - It starts of with probably the most searched term on google across southern India - H1B. You arrive here on an H1B visa while working on a IT project and during the timeframe of that first project, you are mesmerized by what this country has to offer (higher pay, better lifestyle and of course an overflow of eye-candies, especially if you have fulfilled your Indian dream of visiting an American beach). Having made up your mind, not to go back to your own country, you try to find a company that will sponsor you for the next few years and there are 99 percent chances that you will find a small consulting company that promises to help. Now begins your climb to Mount Everest- An endless road to a Green Card (Yes, the same green card that cements thousands of matrimonial arrangements in India. After all LADKA GREEN CARD HOLDER HAI ). It's strange how having a American green card is celebrated more than getting citizenship of the country for us Indians.

The time (ages) you spend here with the stamp of H1B on your forehead, will probably be the most stressful and yet memorable of your life. From the pressure of being able to find a project that will keep you alive in the game to the comfort of those big dreams that keep you going, you will have great stories to share with your next generation. I have seen deserving and qualified people breakdown under the pressure of surviving this journey towards permanent residency at every step, but when i look at the daily struggle of illegal immigrants who risk their lives just to be able to breathe in The New World, it all looks too easy. With my experience so far in the United States, i have realized one thing- When the whole world is seeking to be a part of something, it sure would be worth every effort you put in to reach there.

Its hard to sum up the experience of being an 'Alien' in this great country in just few words and i guess i would never be able to understand my own emotions towards it. While i do miss my boss-like life in the good-old Mumbai, i always believe that there's something better stored ahead. Therefore, i have learnt to adjust, which is the best way to survive here - Adjust and keep moving forward. And for those who are still working on the beginning of their American Dream all i would say is - Make sure that you get your TECHNOLOGY game right and the rest will all be history.


- Fahad Sikander

Love is blind, you are not.

Last evening i came across an old acquaintance, sitting at a local shisha bar. I was super stunned when he walked up to me with a sexy looking girl and introduced her as his wife. It was pretty difficult for me to stop my jaw from dropping, and it wasn't just because his wife was hot. I don't think i remember anything that he said after the introduction, because i got this uncontrollable urge to ask him just one question - HOW?????

If you think that i was over reacting, let me tell you that if his wife was a perfect 36-24-36 dusky beauty, while he probably was a 360-240-360, quarter of a tonne weighing, living creature. It was later that i realized the real reason for this sudden "love" marriage, when he spoke about how he inherited a fortune from his grandfather and switched from a bajaj to a Bentley or a 'Baintli' as he said.

This actually brings me to a conclusion that love really is not that blind, in most cases at least. Its either the testosterone persuading you to jump into a relation because of physical attributes of the opposite person, or the greed glands of your brain that calculates net worth of the person even before the relationship kicks off. Being into a few relationships in the past, i don't think I've ever felt my love was blind, not even unconditional to begin with. Because you really can see what you're getting into isn't it?


This situation kind of answers one of the most debated questions - Can money buy you love? Not that i have answer to it because I'm a die-hard romantic at heart, but the reality favors the not so obvious. I mean I'm sure Salma Hayek would not have really been with the Gucci boss, if his net worth would not have been $15.7 billion.

This judgement can obviously be challenged by haters, based on the 'beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder' philosophy, because i do come across many of 'em who insist that looks & money do not really matter when out looking for a relationship.

Actually, the moment you know that an aimless soul is wandering around looking for some love, its a douchebag alert! and you know you need to steer away. So the point here is that, its not really blind because you actually walk into love consciously and not really fall into it, unless you've been smoking some hard pot, on a look out for materialistic satisfaction or simply very horny at that so called 'special' moment.

So taking your time before taking some action is what i feel is the key to a successful relationship. And for those who do not want to get into such complications, simply sit back, smoke a shisha and say "Fuck It".

Gym diaries

Remember the song called 'Dard-e-Disco' in which our romance king tried hard to appear sexy but failed miserably? It surely was a pain, matching up to its lyrics. Where, it did not manage to change the image of the superstar, it surely changed people's approach towards fitness. It was that 'SIX PACK COMING SOON' phase (if you remember, guys wearing this statement tee all across the city)

I find it quite amusing that footfalls in gyms increase drastically whenever there is a big budget movie releasing, starring Salman (the bhai) Khan. Suddenly every guy wants to look like this over-hyped bad boy who is trying to ''Be Human'' and every girl wants to be his virtual eye candy.

Over the years i have seen people's perception about fitness change drastically and now the time is such that everyone is looking for a short cut. Last week at the gym, i was shocked when i heard two, barely 18 years old kids discussing steroids. When i discussed this to my mentor who is a professional bodybuilder, he was not surprised a bit, as this has become too common these days.

With inquisitive hormones kicking in, i started observing people in my gym and was i amazed or what! I could easily categorize people there based on what i observed, and yes, me and my friends too fall into different categories. Please note that i am not judging anyone and this purely is my perception, so for those who get offended reading this, i really am out of fucks to give.

The best part of being in the gym is the multi-channel entertainment that you're exposed to. Right from lanky guys with sleeves rolled-up checking themselves out in the mirror after every set to the overwhelmingly out of shape women trying to appear 'HOT' with shit loads of make-up on, there is never a dull moment. The big man Ronnie Coleman once said "Everybody wants to be a bodybuilder, but nobody wants to lift any heavy-ass weight". This statement is so true if you look at the current scenario across gyms. I mean i have witnessed people walking out of the gym and stopping by at a junk food joint right across the street to satisfy their cravings. Then there are those who have been using a 15 pound dumbbell since 6 months and when questioned, give out 15 reasons for their poor performance. These are the same people who are looking for an easy replacement for hard work and will leave no chance to criticize the genuinely focused lot who are serious about their transformation.

The reason why i understand this so well is because i am surrounded by both types of people, i have a friend who accuses every well-built man of being on steroids but also secretly aspires to be like them. And i have my mentor who is one of the best bodybuilders of our country and believes in old school, hard-fuckin-core training.

I have always had respect for people who are really focused on their fitness goals and do not really care about what's happening around them. Just looking at them gives you motivation to press harder, irrespective of how they appear. My biggest  inspiration has been my brother who has really changed his lifestyle completely and transformed into this kick-ass, ambitious man that many envy.
This actually explains that fitness & bodybuilding is not just about gyms and diets, it really is a lifestyle and if it would have been easy, everyone would be doing it.





 

Being (impulsive) human

Have you ever taken a spontaneous 200 km bike ride to see a friend just because he was down with a minute stomach infection? Well i did, and it surely amused a lot of people around, as most of us generally would not even think of doing it unless the person is on his deathbed. I consider this trait as simply being humane, although many would disagree and call it being an impulsive rat.

Life has always been a roller coaster ride for me, or let's say i made sure it did. The difference is, that i choose emotional thrill over the mainstream, physical thrill that most of us like. Touching people's heart when they are least expecting it gives me a high, which, in most cases, lasts for a lifetime.

Since i was a kid i have always heard that there are two types of people in this world, one who use their brain to think and then there are those who think from their heart. There was never a confusion as to which one of categories do i belong to and i am sure that most of the people who know me would agree that i am from the latter one.

I have always failed to understand the difference between being a 'risk taker' and an 'impetuous chutiya'. Some may think that my 'Life is short, live to the fullest' philosophy is just good as a part of some bollywood script, not in real life. But if you ask me, i think this crazy ass nature has really helped me be a better human being. Materialistic contentment is easier to achieve in life than attaining peace of mind and emotional satisfaction, or so i believe. Not that i don't have dreams and ambitions in life, its just that i would prefer being remembered as a man with a good heart rather than a man with a great fleet of cars.

I remember while auditioning for a reality show, me and the other contestants were asked about their dreams and the only guy who didn't have any monetary inclination towards his, was me. My dream is pretty simple, i see myself at a position where i can nurture dreams of kids, who have gotten lost, picking up the remains of their parents' bodies in the midst of civil wars of Syria and Palestine.

Comfort sadden hearts of mothers from Tanzania, whose beautiful albino babies go missing from homes and hospitals and become a part of a sickening magic ritual. We forget that when we are in pain, we have someone to hear us out and ease our nerves, but that's not the case with everyone else in the world.

How bad could it really be to have an impulsive nature? We cant always analyze, plan and then think about bringing a change because most of the times they just remain and perish as thoughts. The biggest achievement for me will be making a difference in people's life and play a small role in their happiness, because, if you haven't changed someone else's life, have you really lived?

Jihad called life

The great activist Martin Luther King Jr once said "Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed".This blatant theory is known by all but practiced by few, and those who try to do it are further oppressed and silenced.

It almost irks me every time i see the media stereotyping and targeting a particular community. It actually influences the minds of billions, sitting comfortably on their couches, passing judgments based on what they see. Hasn't it become like a set pattern, that whenever you switch on the news there is some Arab country being sodomized by the so called 'superpowers' of the world.

What is it about these people that makes them such fundamentalists? Why is it that the best of developed countries, even with all their might cannot break the spirits of these self-motivated souls from the sands?  What can make an eight year old kid stand with a stone in his hand, in front of a heavy ass battle tank? These are few questions that have given me sleepless nights since a very long time.

I have gotten rid of most the materialism of my life in order to set on an endless journey towards understanding the minds of these strong-willed warriors. What the oppressors do not understand is that they are not fighting a radical idea, instead they stand against a strong Belief..... a belief that is backed by billions of souls..... a belief that promotes resistance as a birth right. You can never defeat someone you can't intimidate and when that someone has nothing to lose, you will not be able to break him further.

First of all, for those who do not understand the meaning of JIHAD, let me explain that the true meaning of this word is no where close to what you see on TV.

Jihad in literal terms means 'Struggle' and in Islam it means a struggle against your own self to be a better Muslim, a struggle towards making your society better and a struggle  against oppression. Unfortunately, the term 'Jihad' is not just misunderstood by the Non-Muslims but also many believers themselves, who are mislead by some politically-backed, self-proclaimed leaders of Islam.

While we commended the hard-work done by our soldiers against our neighbors who were trying to invade our land, although our sentiments towards the government are more negative than positive. When a glorified superpower invaded a peaceful Afghanistan, we applauded the fireworks that put an end to thousands of smiles. This difference of opinion comes from being influenced or rather mislead by the western-acquired media of the world. Its like, standing up against a criminal entering our house but being absolutely cool about witnessing same horrendous act being executed at someone else's house just because you are made to believe that the mother in that house is a tyrant who ill-treats her kids. Think about it, who gives the right to anyone on this earth to enter your house, destroy every reason of your happiness and then promote this act of nuisance as liberation for you!

Today, each one of us has a Jihad going on in our lives and our objective should be to keep that struggle going on, until we succeed in overcoming our fears. Instead of stereotyping certain communities today, we should all adopt this 'struggle' and work towards making the better out of ourselves and 'struggle' together with the oppressed to help them liberate from their fears.

- Fahad Parack

Love at first poke

Today, technology is growing and so is the world population, which leaves god with little time to make marriages in heaven. A live example of this would be my good old friend who is ready to walk down the aisle with a girl he met through facebook. The news did come as a surprise to me, as it was difficult to believe that someone could just walk out of the facebook screen and probably spend the rest of her life with you.

Gone are the days when a roadside romeo stood below the apartment of his lady love or even stalk her across the city, i mean look at the rising fuel prices. The money that you spend on a gallon of petrol for the bike is more than what you would spend on a monthly internet plan, which also comes with a benefit of playing cupid for those looking for love.

Working in the social media marketing industry has somewhat made me an expert in understanding behavioral patterns of internet users. Along with insights of a particular tool, i also understand insights of minds of social media users and i can more or less anticipate moves on some of the leading platforms. To my surprise, spending a lot of time on the internet has actually elevated the cheesiness quotient among the lusting lone rangers. The "will you fraandships me?" has now been replaced with a google researched quote of some poet from the late 50's and its more like a gentleman now to poke before you add someone on facebook, just to let them know that you are interested.

My friend, who is getting married this year to his facebook-to-reality princess, has been a case study for me to understand how things work. I think in the last one year, they must have virtually broken up dozens of time, which made me believe that its never gonna work out. I mean there was no charm of voyeurism anymore because every time they would have a conflict, it showed in the status updates on facebook. Every time the girl had a status like "Thanks for ruining it" on her wall, the whole world knew who is to be blamed and i would send a text to my friend saying "Yes!!!! you fucked up again".

There is no denial that social media has facilitated the process of finding love for some and getting laid for many, but it cant really be compared to the old-school approach. The Shirin-Farhad style of romance still remains eternal and those who practice it, according to me, are living the real love story.

-Fahad Parack

The last step of life

"But in the end one needs more courage to live than to kill himself." - Albert Camus

Letting go of life or suicide has been one topic that has taken me months to explore, understand and write about. Its surprising that these days no newspaper seems complete without the mention of people somewhere giving up and deciding to destroy the most beautiful gift given to them by their parents, called Life.

 Once the soul departs, people around have all sorts of things to talk about the one who could not hold on. But i wonder what goes inside the mind of that person just before he is about to take such a drastic step of ending his own life. Is it really a no way out situation for them or just an impulsive decision due to some petty situation they face. The more i read on this topic, the more i get thinking about what could be the trigger for a suicide. What most of us read and understand about a suicide, is just a fraction of the truth behind a human being's desire to end life. So to really discover the trigger points, we need to put ourselves in the shoes of the ones who lose faith in themselves and see if we would behave any different.

The first situation i want to talk about is the more global issue that we have been hearing but probably ignoring since a very long time because we are not being affected. A 17 year old beautiful looking Arab girl walks into an army camp with a emotionless face and blows herself up with explosive, killing others along. The next morning news says "17 year old muslim girl kills 10 in a terror attack", creating a perception in the mind of the audience reading the news. Most of us would be judgmental and believe what we just read word by word; however think about what could have really gone wrong that she took this step. I am not being a judge here and yes i condemn the act too, but putting myself in her place after knowing the truth, i wonder how would i react if my entire family was murdered infront of my eyes. Ofcourse there are these brainwashed young lads who execute suicides on orders of some exploiting leaders, who promise them heaven after death, which is a ridiculous one to make. But i am talking about the ones who take things in their own hands when they lose everything that comforted them. Is the desire to be with their departed loved ones so strong or is the hunger for revenge of their deaths really unbearable for them. 

Coming to the more common situations in our country, where the reason for people to end their own lives varies from financial crisis, relationship hardships or even household distress. I personally do not believe in giving up in life, definitely not just because someone walked out on me. Im sure the love you get from parents is worth a million times more than any partner can give you. I dont think people can be so heart-broken that life doesnt mean nothing to them, i mean it might look good in movies where Devdas  loses grip on his life in the name of love but not for real. You would be surprised to find out some of the reasons why people commit suicide in our country.  One of the most amusing part of this research was when i came across a news that said "Three farmers write to the president asking for death". I traveled miles to meet these farmers to understand their situation and mindsets, and to my surprise it was nothing but a stunt to get media attention leading to government aid. 

After months of reading and tying to understand  the mindsets of people who commit suicide, i still have not been able to penetrate into their thinking. Its easy to judge such souls based on the news we read, but nearly impossible to know what made them quit. I strongly believe in fighting till the last breath of life because the success you get after that is way above all the pains in life. Leave the judgement of your destroyed family to the one above, keep moving forward when you get pushed off you feet and open your heart for people who may love you more than then ones that left you. The adrenaline you will feel by taking chances is better than the feeling of depression that could cost you your life.

- Fahad Parack