The last step of life

"But in the end one needs more courage to live than to kill himself." - Albert Camus

Letting go of life or suicide has been one topic that has taken me months to explore, understand and write about. Its surprising that these days no newspaper seems complete without the mention of people somewhere giving up and deciding to destroy the most beautiful gift given to them by their parents, called Life.

 Once the soul departs, people around have all sorts of things to talk about the one who could not hold on. But i wonder what goes inside the mind of that person just before he is about to take such a drastic step of ending his own life. Is it really a no way out situation for them or just an impulsive decision due to some petty situation they face. The more i read on this topic, the more i get thinking about what could be the trigger for a suicide. What most of us read and understand about a suicide, is just a fraction of the truth behind a human being's desire to end life. So to really discover the trigger points, we need to put ourselves in the shoes of the ones who lose faith in themselves and see if we would behave any different.

The first situation i want to talk about is the more global issue that we have been hearing but probably ignoring since a very long time because we are not being affected. A 17 year old beautiful looking Arab girl walks into an army camp with a emotionless face and blows herself up with explosive, killing others along. The next morning news says "17 year old muslim girl kills 10 in a terror attack", creating a perception in the mind of the audience reading the news. Most of us would be judgmental and believe what we just read word by word; however think about what could have really gone wrong that she took this step. I am not being a judge here and yes i condemn the act too, but putting myself in her place after knowing the truth, i wonder how would i react if my entire family was murdered infront of my eyes. Ofcourse there are these brainwashed young lads who execute suicides on orders of some exploiting leaders, who promise them heaven after death, which is a ridiculous one to make. But i am talking about the ones who take things in their own hands when they lose everything that comforted them. Is the desire to be with their departed loved ones so strong or is the hunger for revenge of their deaths really unbearable for them. 

Coming to the more common situations in our country, where the reason for people to end their own lives varies from financial crisis, relationship hardships or even household distress. I personally do not believe in giving up in life, definitely not just because someone walked out on me. Im sure the love you get from parents is worth a million times more than any partner can give you. I dont think people can be so heart-broken that life doesnt mean nothing to them, i mean it might look good in movies where Devdas  loses grip on his life in the name of love but not for real. You would be surprised to find out some of the reasons why people commit suicide in our country.  One of the most amusing part of this research was when i came across a news that said "Three farmers write to the president asking for death". I traveled miles to meet these farmers to understand their situation and mindsets, and to my surprise it was nothing but a stunt to get media attention leading to government aid. 

After months of reading and tying to understand  the mindsets of people who commit suicide, i still have not been able to penetrate into their thinking. Its easy to judge such souls based on the news we read, but nearly impossible to know what made them quit. I strongly believe in fighting till the last breath of life because the success you get after that is way above all the pains in life. Leave the judgement of your destroyed family to the one above, keep moving forward when you get pushed off you feet and open your heart for people who may love you more than then ones that left you. The adrenaline you will feel by taking chances is better than the feeling of depression that could cost you your life.

- Fahad Parack