Love at first poke

Today, technology is growing and so is the world population, which leaves god with little time to make marriages in heaven. A live example of this would be my good old friend who is ready to walk down the aisle with a girl he met through facebook. The news did come as a surprise to me, as it was difficult to believe that someone could just walk out of the facebook screen and probably spend the rest of her life with you.

Gone are the days when a roadside romeo stood below the apartment of his lady love or even stalk her across the city, i mean look at the rising fuel prices. The money that you spend on a gallon of petrol for the bike is more than what you would spend on a monthly internet plan, which also comes with a benefit of playing cupid for those looking for love.

Working in the social media marketing industry has somewhat made me an expert in understanding behavioral patterns of internet users. Along with insights of a particular tool, i also understand insights of minds of social media users and i can more or less anticipate moves on some of the leading platforms. To my surprise, spending a lot of time on the internet has actually elevated the cheesiness quotient among the lusting lone rangers. The "will you fraandships me?" has now been replaced with a google researched quote of some poet from the late 50's and its more like a gentleman now to poke before you add someone on facebook, just to let them know that you are interested.

My friend, who is getting married this year to his facebook-to-reality princess, has been a case study for me to understand how things work. I think in the last one year, they must have virtually broken up dozens of time, which made me believe that its never gonna work out. I mean there was no charm of voyeurism anymore because every time they would have a conflict, it showed in the status updates on facebook. Every time the girl had a status like "Thanks for ruining it" on her wall, the whole world knew who is to be blamed and i would send a text to my friend saying "Yes!!!! you fucked up again".

There is no denial that social media has facilitated the process of finding love for some and getting laid for many, but it cant really be compared to the old-school approach. The Shirin-Farhad style of romance still remains eternal and those who practice it, according to me, are living the real love story.

-Fahad Parack

The last step of life

"But in the end one needs more courage to live than to kill himself." - Albert Camus

Letting go of life or suicide has been one topic that has taken me months to explore, understand and write about. Its surprising that these days no newspaper seems complete without the mention of people somewhere giving up and deciding to destroy the most beautiful gift given to them by their parents, called Life.

 Once the soul departs, people around have all sorts of things to talk about the one who could not hold on. But i wonder what goes inside the mind of that person just before he is about to take such a drastic step of ending his own life. Is it really a no way out situation for them or just an impulsive decision due to some petty situation they face. The more i read on this topic, the more i get thinking about what could be the trigger for a suicide. What most of us read and understand about a suicide, is just a fraction of the truth behind a human being's desire to end life. So to really discover the trigger points, we need to put ourselves in the shoes of the ones who lose faith in themselves and see if we would behave any different.

The first situation i want to talk about is the more global issue that we have been hearing but probably ignoring since a very long time because we are not being affected. A 17 year old beautiful looking Arab girl walks into an army camp with a emotionless face and blows herself up with explosive, killing others along. The next morning news says "17 year old muslim girl kills 10 in a terror attack", creating a perception in the mind of the audience reading the news. Most of us would be judgmental and believe what we just read word by word; however think about what could have really gone wrong that she took this step. I am not being a judge here and yes i condemn the act too, but putting myself in her place after knowing the truth, i wonder how would i react if my entire family was murdered infront of my eyes. Ofcourse there are these brainwashed young lads who execute suicides on orders of some exploiting leaders, who promise them heaven after death, which is a ridiculous one to make. But i am talking about the ones who take things in their own hands when they lose everything that comforted them. Is the desire to be with their departed loved ones so strong or is the hunger for revenge of their deaths really unbearable for them. 

Coming to the more common situations in our country, where the reason for people to end their own lives varies from financial crisis, relationship hardships or even household distress. I personally do not believe in giving up in life, definitely not just because someone walked out on me. Im sure the love you get from parents is worth a million times more than any partner can give you. I dont think people can be so heart-broken that life doesnt mean nothing to them, i mean it might look good in movies where Devdas  loses grip on his life in the name of love but not for real. You would be surprised to find out some of the reasons why people commit suicide in our country.  One of the most amusing part of this research was when i came across a news that said "Three farmers write to the president asking for death". I traveled miles to meet these farmers to understand their situation and mindsets, and to my surprise it was nothing but a stunt to get media attention leading to government aid. 

After months of reading and tying to understand  the mindsets of people who commit suicide, i still have not been able to penetrate into their thinking. Its easy to judge such souls based on the news we read, but nearly impossible to know what made them quit. I strongly believe in fighting till the last breath of life because the success you get after that is way above all the pains in life. Leave the judgement of your destroyed family to the one above, keep moving forward when you get pushed off you feet and open your heart for people who may love you more than then ones that left you. The adrenaline you will feel by taking chances is better than the feeling of depression that could cost you your life.

- Fahad Parack

In the name of sophistication

I was sitting at an Italian restaurant the other day and as usual was on my observation mode, looking around the plush diner, noticing the 'well-mannered'. While i was going through the almost Hebrew reading menu, i could over hear guests on the other table talking to the attendant, which just made me giggle a bit loud. I have never kinda understood the concept of communicating in a language other than your own. I mean i didn't understand shit in the menu too, but that didn't make me feel embarrassed. In fact i made sure the attendant knows that i am confused, so that he could come and help me out. 

Restaurants are just an example to highlight the fact that we sometimes try too hard to portray ourselves in a certain way. Its a common sight in such eating joints to see people not order something because they might not be able to pronounce it right which apparently is 'wrong' and embarrassing for them. I would be more worried  if i wouldn't understand a छोले पूरी written in the menu rather than something called quesadillas.

Im not trying to justify the rowdy behavior that we come across sometimes in a restaurant, i just mean that im sure the restaurant guy understands Hindi as much as you do, so why not?.

Growing up in an infamous neighborhood has actually got me use to the universal lingo of eating out at food stalls, where every man is a 'boss' and generally speaking in English will not really create a comfortable conversation. There was actually an instance when my friends were pretty impressed with my 'भ्नताई' vocabulary skills during one of their usual visits to the Ramadan feast and the same friends were stunned, when at a fine diner, i addressed the manager as 'भाई'. For a moment i felt as if i have committed the crime of the century, and then silence accompanied us throughout the dinner. 

Its surprising how quick we can transform our body language according to the ambiance around us, which might not be completely wrong. But forgetting where you come from is something which is really unacceptable according to me....आईचा गावात 

 

Mysterious lanes of extravagance

Last night while i was sitting by the window looking down at the narrow, crowded lanes of my neighborhood which reminded me of a telephone conversation i had in the morning. I have been trying to get a credit card for myself since sometime, for which ive been talking to a bank representative. The lady who seemed to be more excited than me when i had applied for the card, sounded equally disinterested after she processed my application. It was after patiently waiting for some response from the bank, that i called up again to check the status of my application. Apparently, the reason why i was not given a credit card is because in the application form my area pin-code reads '400003'.

This was the first time i actually did a small study on the place where i have been living since the time ive opened my eyes to the world. Its not just the bank, i have also experienced people having similar sentiments when it comes to education too. I have witnessed kids from my hood being denied admissions to educational institutes because they belong to a locality that has an infamous reputation of being a hub for anti-social elements. In an attempt to understand radical sentiments that people have towards a place i call 'home', i went around talking to those who live here and the ones who probably would never want to even pass by. 

So what if the dreaded don who lives in Karachi once resided here, or most of the recovery guys representing various banks belong to the same place. It does sound ironic that men who go out to recover money from defaulters actually are not eligible to get a loan for themselves, after all, you would need balls of steel to walk up to them if they defaulted on any payment or even refused to pack back.

Whatever maybe the reason, i personally feel things are being exaggerated to a point of actually influencing mindsets of others. If that's not the case then who could justify the extravagant food orgy, that people from across corners of the city are compelled to be a part of. Ramadan is a time when souls with insatiable palettes and overwhelming appetites flock the roads below the murderous flyover of JJ to get their hands on some real, lip-smacking, calorie-loaded fare. It surprises me how suddenly the so called 'unsafe' lanes of my hood transforms into this 'must-visit' food heaven, to be walked in wearing the most revealing outfits, just because its "cool" to be eating on the roads this way.During those 30 days, my facebook wall is generally filled with check-ins of my friends, flaunting their presence at Mohammed Ali road, which kinda amuses me because for me its been an everyday affair for the past 26 years, so who's more cool now? 

People talk about aggression that the locals living around have, but what they do not see is that this aggression is actually a "take no shit" attitude that they live with. I do not condemn the lifestyle that they have,  coz i might be on the same path too and why not?. Refusal to become a punching bag does not make these people social worms to be looked down upon. As a matter of fact i believe that its real men and women who stand up for whats right and not be afraid of anything, that's how living is for residents of Mumbai 3.

- Fahad Parack

The luxury of life

Every unfortunate visit to a hospital makes me realize the value of life and the ones i love.

Sitting outside an operation theater  a family awaits to know the fate of a young kid who got on a self-destructive mode while fulfilling his passion for speed. They way they stare at the bright red bulb on the door makes it appear like a scene from an 80's classic, as if the the doctor will walk out and say "im sorry". Its disheartening how these 2 words can actually mean the end of someone's world. 

Initially doctors were probably the most hated professionals on my list because of the cold and rude face they carry always. It was during a conversation with a top doctor during a brief visit, that i realized how great this profession is. The way things appear to the common man is actually a conscious attempt that takes a long time to perfect by these live saving souls. Putting my self in their place i realize with the kind of emotions and sentiments that i carry, i would never have the balls to cut open an old man's body and risk his life. 

It is right, that how long will a sick person live in our country sometimes depends on how deep are the pockets of his family members. Healthcare is just another business here, but because it has human life involved, it is always under the scanner for finding open loops. 

The revolutionary character, Munnabhai amused me on screen, but i never related the movie with reality till the time i experienced it. At a local hospital i saw this man soaked in sweat and tears, waiting in a never ending queue. Every passing second he would turn around to see his unconscious son lying on a stretcher at a distance. The helplessness on a father's face was completely ignored by the crowd around, as if this an everyday affair for them. 

I don't know what happened to that young kid or did he actually make to the trauma room. My plead to let the man pass through the queue was over-powered by a few shoves and over-ruled by a question from an official, who asked "Tu hero hai kya?". This made it clear that the problem is not with the profession here, it is the system  that is flawed and needs amendments so that a common man can get the luxury called 'Life'.

- Fahad Parack

A wish to be Salman Khan

In this fast moving city of Mumbai, one thing i have always noticed is that most of the people are absolutely smitten by glamour of the Tinseltown. Whenever i have taken a walk down the roads of places like Andheri lokhandwala, i have seen at least a dozen of overdressed youngsters walking with an attitude that's screaming for attention. Just one glance at them and you know which actor do they idolize. So i do generally come across a couple of Salmans and Bipashas or sometimes even Ajay Devgans of 90's.


Not that i have never fancied paparazzi trying to stalk me every where, just that my aspirations have been the more sophisticated and flamboyant billionaires of the world.

So, i wonder what exactly is this ultimate feeling of being a successful actor or a model, that makes the fitness and cosmetic industries ever growing. Everyday when i walk into my gym, i notice that there is always this one group on the floor that looks the most well dressed and intense during workouts. It just makes you feel as if while working out they actually imagine themselves as John Abraham or Vidyut Jamwal, which apparently is a great source of motivation according to me. I understand that dreams are always worth putting in all efforts irrespective of how others look at it, but in this case i feel most of them are blinded by the media and have a large opaque screen between them and the reality.


It was during college that i actually observed this trend in youngsters, when there were so many examples in my own division. Our class actually appeared like a complete feature film package, with students having diverse aspirations. From a script writer to an editor and everything in between, the only thing we lacked was  an opportunity or a wake up call. I will not deny that on many occasions the director's cap was worn by me, but then at that moment all we think about is we are the best or what one of my friend refers to it as 'TODU'.

In the end i really hope that youngsters try to understand their real self and people around actually help them in doing so, instead of misleading them in anyway.

There cant be a Naseeruddin Shah appearing every time a poster is torn.

-Fahad Parack

The Corporate Robin Hood

Within the first week as an 'employee' i had realized that its not gonna be easy for me. Maybe it was my personal attitude that needed a reality check or my zero tolerance for injustice in any form. Not that i had problems with my bosses, i simply refused to be labeled as a 'resource'.

Somehow i have never been able to relate the term 'resource' to an alive and happy human being which is that one simple thing i always fought for, literally. I never felt a hero saving my team members from the wrath of the decision maker, because i think no one should work with the fear of losing his job.

There is no debate as to which approach is correct, might not be mine, but i am content with the fact that i protected and stood by people around me. I am sure when you have a business to run in this competitive world, the value of growth and success overshadows that of sentiments. 

The relieving smile on a colleague's face after skipping a dreaded review meeting has always been priceless for me, and that's the reason this name (The Corporate Robin Hood)  was given to me during one of the many farewells i have had. 

Every time i begin new, it amazes me the way my loved ones explain things about not getting to attached with the new colleagues. It's kinda cute the way they try to keep me away from being a rebel, when they know whats gonna happen at the end. 

When people ask me about what am i gonna do next, i always smile and say "Something better"

-Fahad Parack

The bane of munificence

From the time i have understood the concept of living in this world, there has been a constant conflict in my mind regarding the path i chose to walk in life. The concept of "Pay It Forward" never felt like a practical one because of experiences that i have had. 

What does "survival of the fittest" really mean? 

Being observant of life, i have always come across two kinds of souls; one who would do whatever it takes to reach where they want to and then there are those who would sacrifice dreams to stand strong on their principles. Surprisingly, both of them seem happy in life because one is happy with achievement and the other by sticking to principles. 

I have always considered myself as a shadow of my father, who perhaps is the most honest and disciplined man i have ever come across. However, somehow the temptation to mend my principles is strong enough to get me thinking of a reconsideration. People might say that there is always a third way, which i have never come across till now. 

My belief is that glimpse of the smiling Gandhi has blinded humanity and probably given an edge to those who dont mind breaking rules to reach new heights. As i walk the lanes of this ever hungry city, majority of voices that fall on my ears are expressions of unrest due to money. In this race to excel in life, i hope the weight of paper does not prove heavier than a small chunk of muscle called a "Heart".

- Fahad Parack

I didn't see that coming.

I had always heard that the biggest game that exists is the game called LIFE, where no one wants to risk losing but everybody has to play.

I realized that i was a part of this game when i was at the most important phase of my career. Aspiration to be 'like a boss' motivated me and my then "friends" to strive hard, leading to the inception of our dream - 9. 

Discipline started settling in, students transformed into professionals and so did the identity of our dream. 

The day that i use to dream about every single night was finally here, which was intentionally selected by me, thinking it would be auspicious. Well, actually it was auspicious, if i look at from an entrepreneur's point of view.  

Every morning pushing the gates of our heaven wide open gave me a sense of joy and pride. This was it, we had made it, or that's what i at least thought and strongly believed in. I knew it was never gonna be easy, but i was content being a part of a team that had the capability to conquer everything. Wikipedia says that a team comprises of a group of people linked in a common purpose and i thought of putting those words to the test by building one. 

So it was a self-proclaimed leader blinded by trust, standing along with an insecure soul, a egoistic dreamer, a clean heart joker and a brother from another mother. We always made a great click when stood by each other, but i wish the camera could have captured what was within. 

Insecurity and ego resulted in crevices in the dream, which then led to the most dreadful detour of my life. Although it was never spelled out, i knew what went wrong and this saved me the time i would take to figure out what was it. 

Its been years but there still exists the pain somewhere and a wish to rewind my life so that i could rectify it. But like its said, you need to move on and so i have, with a lot more respect towards life and the brother who always stood by me.

Will be back when the time is right.

- Fahad Parack