Last night i got that dream again, the one ive always got since years,
the one in which i am typing an email..... An email that reads "It's not working out"
It took six job changes in the last seven years for me to realize that the tag of an "employee" is just not meant for me. For me its like a journey that began as an entrepreneurial spirit and probably will end as same.
The most productive thing or a learning if i may say, ive gained while working for various companies is, the ability to observe and understand people. It is probably the best part of my shift to learn about different kinds of minds and how they function and the bigger your organization, the more variations of god's creations you come across. Here's how i broadly classify different types of team members in a typical corporate setup (mind you not judging)
The Workaholic - I love these people! The adrenaline rush i get just by keeping up to their pace is overwhelming . Although they are a part of every organization, in the best and the rarest case scenario it is your shot-caller (boss). And if you are lucky enough to be working for an organization where your boss is a workaholic, you know you're shaping your career well coz they don't make you feel like a 'resource' (i hate that F**KING word).
The Pet - Just as the name suggests, they are the ones who once inspired the famous creative campaign for hutch that involved a little pug. Surprisingly, in our system, they are also the ones who stay for the longest, grow the fastest and are the most active bunch of the lot. My worst experiences across my career have been with these special souls *FACEPALM*
The Bitch - They love to GOSSIP! and its weird, but in many cases, the bitch mentioned here is not necessarily a female. Yes! ive come across a lot of pussies with an Adam's apple in organizations that make you thank god for not making you like them. One thing commendable about them is their ability to observe the minutest of things around, which also makes them the fastest but surely not the most reliable source to get gossips doing rounds in the company.
The Friend - They are like a bonus of a lifetime, if you could get one. So its not really common to find like-minded people in an organization, but if you do, you know they will last for a lifetime. One good example of this would be my good old friend Krishna who i can count on for everything. You might not be able to produce a lot of good work with them being in the company, but just feeling of your creativity being understood well by someone, brings a lot of peace to your mind. Its like, you know that tomorrow you will surely have company when you are on your "Fuck The Police" mode.
The Robot (not our Rajnikanth) - So this is what happens when you are perfect for a government organization but fortunately end up in an MNC. They are the most calm of the lot, with no hassles, no issues and maybe no balls either... basically no voice of their own. They are what i call the template people, who, do exactly what and how they are asked to do a particular task without questioning anyone. Im surprised how people lead this kind of life and still can look at themselves in the mirror every morning without feeling bad.
The बक्चोद (please excuse the lingo) - I guess this is the best way to describe these people. These self-proclaimed Einsteins probably have an extra set of balls to be at this level. Its like they have a solution for everything (or so they think). For example a sales head of a cookie company holds the ability to give you gyan on what's the best way to promote real-estate on MARS. Again, not one of my best experiences with such people, but at the end you have to bear up with them because they can talk, talk, talk, and just talk. They will tell you what can be done not how can it be done because that's what they are best at.
The आम आदमी - Their existence dont really matter to be honest. The saddest of the lot, i feel bad for them because no one really gives a shit about their existence. The most easiest to identify, they will always look lost, nervous and BLAH. I dont event know what to write about them... so let them be at peace :)
Surprisingly i have still not been able to identify a place for myself in any organizations under these classifications. Maybe i am not fit to be in the corporate world, or i might have to work hard on identifying another category that would be called "The Abstract Mind" or "The Random Nomad"!
- Fahad Parack
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